<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Child Care by RoyalCrowOfUnknownOrigin</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26636062">Child Care</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoyalCrowOfUnknownOrigin/pseuds/RoyalCrowOfUnknownOrigin'>RoyalCrowOfUnknownOrigin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Apartment, BAZ FEELS A LOT OKAY DON'T JUDGE HIM, Babbling, Baby, Bottom Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Child, Cute Kids, Cutesy, DW BAZ ISN'T A PEDO, Domestic Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Fluffy Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow, Growing Up Together, Light Angst, M/M, Protective Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Sad Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Simon Snow Loves Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Soft Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Spell Failure, Teenager, Toddler, Tween, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Loves Simon Snow, baby simon snow, baz and simon apartment, horny teenager Simon Snow, it's just very slow, it's the plot, not a big spoiler, penelope messed up, simon's a kid now, turned into a child, young adult</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:14:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,276</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26636062</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoyalCrowOfUnknownOrigin/pseuds/RoyalCrowOfUnknownOrigin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Penelope, while trying a new, more modern spell to get rid of Simon's wings TAKES A BIG L and fails, turning Simon into a child. Baz has to look after him until he gets back to his normal age, which could take forever... jk, you know in the introduction chapter. Baz essentially raises Simon into early adulthood, where he first started. it's sweet as fuck, and Simon is the cutest baby ever.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Oh Shit.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Good luck, hope you like it :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>
<b>Chapter 1: </b><em>Oh Shit.</em>
</h1><p>‘Alright Simon, turn around.’</p><p>Penny had her ring on her finger, pointed at Simon.</p><p>‘Do I have to? Can’t you try this new one from the front?’</p><p>‘Sadly no. I don’t want it to mess up the first time we use it. Once I get it perfect, then I’ll do it from the front.’</p><p>‘Fine.’</p><p>‘Baz already doesn’t want me trying new things on you, I don’t want to make it worse.’</p><p>‘Yeah, I don’t like an angry Baz.’</p><p>‘No one does.’</p><p>Simon turned around and put his hands in his pockets. Penny made her arm stiffer, as it pointed towards him.</p><p>‘Ready?’</p><p>‘Yep.’</p><p>‘<em><strong>Born this way.</strong></em>’</p><p>As soon as she said the spell, there was a brief poof of smoke around Simon, enveloping him.</p><p>‘Simon?’</p><p>When the smoke disappeared, Simon had gone.</p><p>‘Simon?!... SIMON?!’</p><p>Penny looked down and saw a bronze haired child with moles, terribly similar to Simon’s. I mean, to emphasise it even more, he was in Simon’s clothes, swamped in the t-shirt and stuck in the jeans.</p><p>‘Shit.’</p><p>Baz burst through the door with a worried face.</p><p>‘Penelope, what’s happened?- SIMON!’</p><p>Baz ran over to the child and picked him up, looking him in his blue eyes.</p><p>‘Simon?...’</p><p>He turned his head to look at Penny.</p><p>‘What the <em> fuck </em> did you do?!’</p><p>‘I just used a spell, it’s not that-’</p><p>‘It’s terrible! What happens now?! Penelope, what <em> happens </em>?!’</p><p>‘Uhm… I don’t know.’</p><p>‘WHY DON’T YOU KNOW?! WAS THIS THE SPELL?!’</p><p>‘Yes, but I’m sure we can fix it-’</p><p>‘Well then, fucking hurry up and fix it!’</p><p>‘I don’t exactly know how…’</p><p>‘Why did you do a spell WITHOUT KNOWING ALL POSSIBLE OUTCOMES?!’</p><p>‘I thought I’d mastered it.’</p><p>‘YOU CLEARLY HADN’T.’</p><p>‘I know, and I’m really sorry Baz.’</p><p>‘I’m not the one you should be saying sorry to.’</p><p>‘Well, I can’t really-’</p><p>‘Just fucking say sorry.’</p><p>Penny scratched the back of her neck.</p><p>‘I’m sorry Simon. I’m going to go find out how to fix this.’</p><p>‘Good idea Penelope, maybe you should’ve done that before.’</p><p>‘Alright Baz, I’m trying to help here.’</p><p>‘By turning my boyfriend into a child?! Frankly, Bunce, I could’ve done without it. <em> He </em> could’ve done without it.’</p><p>‘I know, and I’m going to try and fix it. I’ll call you when I do.’</p><p>Penny left the room to go find out the answer in a blog post. Baz took Simon to the bed, and he started crying. He held him in front of him.</p><p>‘Simon…’</p><p>He rested his head on Simon’s tiny forehead.</p><p>‘What are we going to do?... What are we going to do...?’</p><p>Simon took his little hands and put them on Baz’s jaw before he could look down, trying his best to push it upwards. He stared into Baz’s sad-looking eyes, almost as if he was saying ‘don’t worry, it’ll be okay’, which filled Baz with an innocent hope.</p><p>‘I really hope you’ll be alright. I don’t want you to have to do this all again. And… I can’t love a child. If this lasts longer than I can handle, I’m going to break, Simon.’</p><p>Simon looked at Baz angrily, and lightly slapped him in the face with a closed fist, which made Baz smile.</p><p>‘Simon! Stop it!’</p><p>Simon noticed Baz’s smile, which made him smile the widest he could. He did it again.</p><p>‘Simon, no! You can’t hit people!’</p><p>Simon tried to talk, but all he could do was babble happily. He pointed down at the bed, signifying he wanted to go there. Baz obliged, placing Simon down softly. He shuffled closer to him, to make sure he could hold himself up, which luckily he could. Simon then tugged on Baz’s shirt, pulling him down so he could touch his face. He proceeded to try his best to wipe away Baz’s tears while singing a little tune to try and make him happier. Baz felt so conflicted. Not only had Simon been turned into a toddler, but he had no idea how to turn back. But on the other hand, he now had this cute child, who clearly kept the same memories, because he tried to cheer him up.</p><p>‘Simon, just so you know, if you can understand this, I still love you. Don’t think I don’t, now that you’re a child.’</p><p>Simon pushed a closed fist onto Baz’s chest, just where his heart would be. Baz started to tear up again and looked at Simon with a sad smile.</p><p>‘I love you too Simon.’</p><p>Simon smiled happily, wiping off Baz’s tears again.</p><p>‘Baz! Baz I’ve found out what we’re going to do!’</p><p>Baz looked at Simon happily.</p><p>‘She’s found something Simon. I have to go see what it is.’</p><p>Baz got up, but before he could even start to walk, Simon started crying. He instantly turned around and picked Simon up to comfort him. He lightly bounced him up and down over his shoulder, like he’d seen Fiona do with his sisters.</p><p>‘Hey, hey, shush shush. You’ll be alright, don’t worry. Is it that you don’t want me to leave? I can take you too, you might want to hear this. Is that okay, Simon?’</p><p>Simon sniffled into Baz’s shoulder and placed his nose on his cheek.</p><p>‘Ah, okay, I’ll take you with me.’</p><p>Baz walked to the door, then backed up again.</p><p>‘Wait, I’m going to try and find you something to wear, so you aren’t completely naked.’</p><p>Baz put Simon back down on the bed and went to his drawer. He filed through it, finding nothing, even after three goes.</p><p>‘Wait! That pair of shorts Bunce made tiny by accident would work.’</p><p>He went into their joint wardrobe, most of which was lazily piled on the bottom, longing to be hung up finally. There was a box in the back right corner, full of spell mistakes. Baz stuck his hand into it and pulled out the shorts. They were extremely small, but still a bit big for Simon. They’d stay on, but very barely. Luckily they weren’t denim, and instead a pair of Baz’s old football shorts he never wore. He originally gave them to Penny to test some new spells, but unfortunately ‘live while we’re young’ went wrong, and Baz then owned a pair of incredibly small shorts, instead of a brand new pair. He kept them in case he needed them, maybe even considering turning them into a new sewing project, but they were perfect for this scenario. When he turned around to try them on Simon, he saw him almost falling off the bed.</p><p>‘Simon!’</p><p>He ran just in time to where Simon was falling and caught him just in time. He took a deep breath in and out and placed Simon on the bed again.</p><p>‘Simon, don’t do that, please. You scared the living hell out of me.’</p><p>Simon just stuck his arms out and did the baby grabby-hands at the shorts. Baz rolled his eyes and stood Simon up on the bed. Simon put both feet through the holes in the trousers and Baz pulled them up for him.</p><p>‘Good?’</p><p>Simon babbled again, signifying some sort of satisfaction, which led to Baz picking him up and holding him on one arm.</p><p>‘Let’s go, okay?’</p><p>Simon smiled at Baz, who walked into the main room to see Penny with her laptop open on a specific blog. He sat down next to her awkwardly, putting Simon on his lap. They both said nothing until Baz spoke up.</p><p>‘...I’m sorry Penelope. I shouldn’t have shouted at you like that.’</p><p>‘No Baz, it’s understandable. I turned your boyfriend into a two-year-old. I get it.’</p><p>‘No, Penelope. I was rude.’</p><p>‘Baz, you are a very protective boyfriend. I’ve messed up new spells many times, and I broke your trust by doing this. <em> I’m </em> sorry. Too, I'm sorry too.’</p><p>Baz nodded.</p><p>‘Thank you for the apology.’</p><p>‘You too Baz.’</p><p>They smiled at each other, but Simon wanted to know what was going on. He tapped Penny’s leg eagerly, and she looked down at him and put her hand on his.</p><p>‘Okay Simon, I’ll tell you now.’</p><p>Penny looked at her computer and scrolled down.</p><p>‘It says here that if you mess up the spell, it’ll take a while to get back to normal.’</p><p>‘How long is a while, Penelope?’</p><p>‘It says that every year will take a day to pass, increasing by days by one per decade. We just need to find out how old Simon is.’</p><p>Simon babbled again, tapping both of their legs. They both looked down at him as he held up both of his hands.</p><p>‘What does this mean, Simon?’</p><p>He tapped the sofa twice.</p><p>‘Is that how old you are?’</p><p>Simon nodded his head enthusiastically. Penny and Baz picked up on it well.</p><p>‘So you’re two Simon?’</p><p>Simon nodded again, less enthusiastically this time.</p><p>‘Great. Now, all we need to do is figure out how long this is going to take.’</p><p>Baz took out his phone and opened the calculator app. He typed in the numbers and as soon as he hit the equals button, he looked disappointed.</p><p>‘Penelope, are you sure this is right?’</p><p>‘Yes, it says here.’</p><p>‘Then Simon’s going to take thirty-two days to get back to normal.’</p><p>‘... That sounds right.’</p><p>‘Penelope, that’s over a month. I can’t do that!’</p><p>‘Well, you’re going to have to, or I use another spell which isn’t guaranteed to work.’</p><p>‘I don’t really have an option, do I?’</p><p>Simon tapped Baz’s leg angrily.</p><p>‘Do <em> we </em>.’</p><p>‘No, not really.’</p><p>Baz looked very disappointed at the floor.</p><p>‘Hey, maybe it won’t be too bad! Maybe you and Simon can bond more?’</p><p>‘Hopefully.’</p><p>Simon again, babbled incoherently but happily, flapping his arms in the air.</p><p>‘What age are children meant to be able to talk by?’</p><p>‘About two I think. Completely literate by three.’</p><p>‘And he’s nowhere close. Amazing. You’re going to have to point to things Simon, okay?’</p><p>Simon nodded understandingly. Penny got up from the sofa, logging her laptop off.</p><p>‘Alright, I’m gonna go. Even though it is early in the day, I've accomplished what I wanted.’</p><p>Baz looked offended and confused at Penny.</p><p>‘You turned Simon into a child, is that what you wanted?!’</p><p>‘His wings aren’t there Baz. That’s what I was trying to do.’</p><p>Baz rolled his eyes and shook his head.</p><p>‘Fair enough Penelope, I’m not going to kidnap you here.’</p><p>‘Thanks… Anyway, I’ll be seeing you.’</p><p>Penny left through the door, and Baz sighed.</p><p>‘What are we going to do now?’</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Simon was clapping to Peppa Pig, laughing every time a joke was made. Baz was looking outside the giant windows that covered one wall of their living room. He turned back to Simon.</p><p>‘It’s getting late Simon, we need to go to bed.’</p><p>Simon looked at him angrily, trying to babble reasons why not.</p><p>‘Simon, I’m taking you to bed so we can go get you some clothes in the morning, alright?’</p><p>Simon crossed his chubby little arms, pouting at Baz. Baz tried his best not to melt at how adorable this little action was, but ultimately failed, even though he knew he had to be stubborn.</p><p>‘I’ll let you watch one episode of something on my phone in bed if you go now.’</p><p>Simon crawled into Baz’s arms, happily awaiting being taken to bed. Baz picked him up, walked into their bedroom, and put Simon on the bed. Baz took his shirt and jeans off, and turned the light off, getting into the bed in only his boxers. As he did, Simon crawled next to him, curled up into a perfect little ball of cuteness. Baz pushed him away a bit.</p><p>‘Simon, I'm going to choke you if you stay this close.’</p><p>Simon moved back into place, determined to stay that close to Baz. Baz moved him so his face wasn’t up against his chest, rather it was closer to his neck. Simon held around it, hugging Baz tightly. He looked at him and babbled.</p><p>‘I love you too Simon.’</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A Blessing and Curse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I really like this one :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>
<b>Chapter 2: </b><em><span>A Blessing and Curse</span></em>
</h1><p>
  <span>It would be a complete understatement to say that Simon was a nightmare up until age five. It was annoying enough, not being able to put him to sleep in his own bed, nevermind how he was in the day. In the day, he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> much worse. Every time Baz would walk away, he'd strop, needing Baz’s constant attention. Baz was well trained with kids, having his many sisters, but he hadn’t lived with them for years, so he was a bit rusty. He had to pick Simon up </span>
  <em>
    <span>every </span>
  </em>
  <span>time he went to go do something. Most of those times included something that could make a mess, and every time a mess was made. He placed Simon on the island most of the time, which resulted in either one of two things. Either Simon almost fell off of it, or he threw something at the back of Baz’s head perfectly, almost making Baz accidentally cutting himself on occasion. But there were three main problems, which for sure made matters ten times worse. One, Simon wouldn’t eat. At </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He only ate about a meal a day, which is not enough for a growing child. Baz was terrified he’d genuinely starve to death, but he managed to keep himself sane by making sure he ate at least a few sweets every couple of hours. Two, he would use </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> to draw </span>
  <em>
    <span>anywhere</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Baz had received some crayons for him from Penny and had accidentally left them on the coffee table once, which they weren't on for long. Soon they were in Simon’s hands, waxy residue covering slightly less than a meter of the wall behind the sofa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Simon, what are you- SIMON! Simon, stop.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz speed walked over to him, kneeling down to take the crayons off of him. He looked him in the eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Now Simon, we don’t draw with crayons on the wall, do we?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon looked down at the ground, feeling guilty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Because we need to clean this up, and we don’t want the landlord to tell us off. Now, do you want to help me?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon nodded his head neutrally, watching Baz kiss his hand and walk over to the kitchen and grab a wet cloth. When he arrived back at the wall, there was even more writing on it. Baz threw the cloth onto the coffee table and covered his face with his hands frustratedly. Simon looked up at him, feeling even more guilty. He only wanted to try and write his own name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I hate you, Simon Snow, I hate you with a passion.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon felt terrible enough that he had to cry. He wasn’t old enough to realise that Baz was half-joking, not meaning it at all, more an exclamation. As soon as he started bawling his eyes out, Baz started feeling guilty too. He felt bad for shouting at him like that, saying something he knew had more meaning to Simon than it did to him. He knelt down back to Simon’s level, sitting on the floor with his legs crossed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Hey! I’m sorry Simon, I didn't mean it. I don’t hate you, I promise.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He held his arms out for Simon to hug him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Come here, don’t worry Simon, I don't hate you.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon slowly walked into Baz’s arms, sitting on his lap and hugging him. He sniffled into his t-shirt, but Baz didn’t mind. All he wanted now was for Simon to be happy again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Simon, please don’t draw on the walls. It’s really difficult to get off, and it takes ages to dry. That’s the reason I said I hated you. I was lying. I don’t hate you, I love you more than anyone else. I got really frustrated and said what was on my mind. I’m so sorry Simon.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Here we come into the last problem. Three, Simon couldn’t talk. Most children can talk coherently by the age of two, but here he was, three years old, no words spoken aside from babble. He did that throughout the first day, deciding to stay mute-ish until he could talk. He wriggled his way out of Baz’s arms, grabbing the damp cloth off the table and starting to wipe the walls, not very successfully. Baz took the cloth off him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Don’t worry Simon, I’ll do it myself. It’s fine, honestly.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz carried on with the job, wiping the whole thing off, with Simon attached to his arm. He got up to go put the cloth back, but Simon wasn’t having it. He couldn’t be separated from Baz for longer than three seconds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Baaaa…’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz heard a noise from the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Simon, are you trying to say something? I’ll come back now, don’t worry my love.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Baaaa!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yes, very good job Simon.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Sssssss…’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Are you angry with me?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz looked over his shoulder, almost done with the cloth and the dishes he decided to do while he had the chance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Bassssss… zzzzz.... Baaazzzzz… Baz!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz turned around suddenly, looking at Simon over the island in the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘... What?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Baz! Baz, Baz!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz felt a rush of joy punch him in the face. Simon had finally said something, and even better, it was his name. Simon’s first words were his name. </span>
  <em>
    <span>His </span>
  </em>
  <span>name. Simon said ‘Baz’ for the first time in days, and he couldn’t be any happier. He ran over to him, forgetting the rest of the dishes. He picked him up and spun him around, his hair following the flow of wind that caught in it. He pulled Simon back in, kissing his forehead, trying his best to not get too many tears in his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Simon… I’m so proud of you! You’re so special Simon, absolutely amazing! So special!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon laughed into Baz’s neck, looking back at him once he put him down on the sofa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Baz!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yes, I know! It’s exciting, isn’t it? You said a word!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I, said, Baz!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz got even happier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Simon! You said more words! Well done my love, I am more than proud of you. I love you more than anything else. You deserve the world.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz popped Simon in his lap, facing him, holding him under his arms. He kissed him all over his face, while Simon giggled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Honestly Simon, I can’t wait until you grow up </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> a bit more, so I can watch you progress even further. I can’t wait to see you grow up with me.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Love you Baz!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I love you too Simon.’</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Field Trip #1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This one is cute ngl, sorry it took me so long :(</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>
<b>Chapter 3: </b><em><span>Field Trip #1</span></em>
</h1><p>
  <span>When Simon turned five, thank god he could talk, but boy was he skinny. </span>
  <em>
    <span>So</span>
  </em>
  <span> skinny. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Too</span>
  </em>
  <span> skinny. He was thinner and smaller than he should’ve been by far. Tiny. Of course, that’s how he looked at that age anyway, but he was still malnourished. Baz tried his best to feed him properly, but he just wouldn’t eat. Ever. He would just push it away or only ate a tiny bit. And he was sassier than any kid Baz’d ever met.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Simon, please. Just eat.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No, I'm not hungry.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Simon, </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span> just </span>
  <em>
    <span>eat</span>
  </em>
  <span>.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m not hungry!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Just fucking eat for me, will you?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Language Bazilton.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m not kidding Baz.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘... I hate you.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I know.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon grinned at him sarcastically, forcing Baz’s eyes to roll. He pushed his food away as usual and Baz took it to the kitchen to throw away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I wish you ate Simon.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I wish you stopped saying that.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Oh sorry, it’s just that I want the child I'm looking after not to die of starvation.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Maybe I want to die of starvation.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz turned around angrily and stared at Simon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Okay, I don’t want to die, sorry Baz.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz nodded at him and turned back around, throwing the leftover food in the food bin. He held the plate over that sink, pouring some Fairy Liquid over it and grabbing the scrubbing brush.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I want to take you on a trip, Simon.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Really?!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yes. I feel like you deserve it at this point.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Where can we go?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘We could go to the museum if you want.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz finished the plate and put it on the drying rack, turning around to see Simon’s face light up. He was so excited he couldn’t talk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You seem to like the idea of the museum Simon.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘MUSEUM!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘So are we going?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yes please Baz!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Okay, then we’re going.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz dried his hands on a tea towel and walked back over to Simon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘If we go to the museum, we can get McDonald’s if you want.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘YES.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Will you eat it?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yeah, of course! It’s McDonald’s Baz! I always eat that!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘True, true.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz grabbed the shoes Penny bought for Simon, and helped him tie the laces.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Museum! Museum! Museum!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I know Simon, it’s exciting isn’t it?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yeah!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘We’ll get to see dinosaurs, and fish, and-‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Gift shop!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Oh, I see how it is, you want me to buy you something.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No…’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’ll buy you something Simon, don’t you worry.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon smiled gladly, jumping off the sofa and holding Baz’s hand to walk out of the apartment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They took the bus to the museum. Simon had been on a bus before, obviously, but not as a kid. He walked on, letting go of Baz’s hand. Big mistake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Simon! Don’t get on the bus without me, okay?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Sorry Baz…’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No, it’s okay! You’re excited. I get it. Just don’t go without me alright?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Okay…’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz walked towards the driver.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Hi, could I  get an adult’s and a child’s day-to-go please?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘That’ll be six pound sixty please.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz put the change in the tray and took the tickets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’ll keep your ticket, where do you want to sit?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Top floor! Top floor!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘As you want sir.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz took Simon’s hand again, slowly walking with him up the stairs, until he tripped over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Ahh!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Oh no, Simon! Are you okay?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon got up and wiped his knee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yeah, I  think so…’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz knew that face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What do you want?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘A kiss better…?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Okay</span>
  </em>
  <span>.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz smiled and picked Simon up, putting him on one of the front seats of the floor. As soon as he was safe, Baz kissed his knee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Thank you Baz!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Anything for you Simon.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They got off the bus at the stop next to the museum. Simon could barely contain himself as they almost got there. They walked in and Simon looked up at Baz eagerly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What is it, Simon?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘DINOS!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yes, what about them?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘They’re tall…’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What are you getting at?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon gave the face of a child knowing he’ll get whatever he asks for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘...Pick me up?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz rolled his eyes appropriately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Fine, come on.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz picked Simon up and propped him on his shoulders. Simon held onto him as much as he could, grabbing his hair. it was going to be one hell of a trip around the museum.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As they made their way to the end, having had Simon mispronounce any name longer than Diplodocus, and Baz mispronouncing a surprising amount, Simon realised what he had forgotten, and Baz realised what he had feared the most in the museum.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘GIFT SHOP!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Oh no, the gift shop.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘PUT ME DOWN! PUT ME DOWN!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Don’t touch anything.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz put Simon down as he ran in and touched everything. Baz sighed as a woman looked at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Kids, right?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Children are foul.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz put his hands in his pockets and walked over to where Simon was staring at some crystals.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Can I get this? I really want it! Baz!’ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Simon, you have no use for crystals.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No one does Baz! I like them!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You don’t.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I do- OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE THOSE?!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon had spotted an absolute masterpiece in the corner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘DINO… TROUSER… THINGS!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘They’re called dungarees Simon.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘DINO DUNGAREES!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Don’t tell me you-’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘CAN I GET THEM?!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon looked up at Baz with his incredibly persuasive childhood wonder and glee, making Baz sigh and agree.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘They wouldn’t fit you at this age unless we bought a size smaller.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Can we get a size smaller?!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘But they’d only last the rest of today.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Then get big ones!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘... I can’t believe I’m doing this.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz carded his way through the different sizes, picking out a size six to seven and another in a size seven to eight, taking them to the till.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Just these please.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘That’ll be forty pounds please.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz sighed and handed the lady two twenty-pound notes. She put the items in a bag after taking the round, plastic tags off and putting them somewhere behind the till. Baz took the bag, said thank you, and held Simon’s hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Time for McDonald's?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yay! Yes, please Baz!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Will you actually eat it?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yes, yes, I will!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Good, let’s go.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The mother from before looked strangely at Simon, trying to imagine a kid who wouldn’t eat McDonald’s, as they walked out of the museum.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They got to McDonald's and Baz got Simon a Happy Meal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Here you go.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Thank you!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon started eating the nuggets as Baz drank his milkshake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Why haven’t you got food Baz?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You know I don’t like eating in public.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘But it’s McDonald's!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yes, the most public place.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Have a chip Baz!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Simon, I can’t-‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Have one!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘... Fine.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baz took a chip and covered his mouth to eat it. He finished it as quick as possible, letting his hand cover his mouth until he felt his fangs retract again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yay!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Alright Simon, it’s not like I don’t eat.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘But you had a chip!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yes?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m just happy.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon smiled as he shoved another nugget in his mouth and Baz continued his milkshake.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>